List of Things I Said To My First Tinder Date Since the Pandemic Started

I don’t want to just hook up, but, you know, I’m not looking for anything serious.

I’m a little stir crazy, to be honest.

Between you and me, I don’t always remember my mask.

You know, I really took time to work on myself.

I focused on my art a lot. I got really into biking.

I haven’t had a haircut for a while. Well, because…

The other day my neighbor didn’t leave a note on my door like he usually does when I’m up late.

The homeless man that hangs around my subway station. He’s not there anymore. No one says “God bless you” now.

The croissants at the café aren’t burnt on the edges.

The coffee isn’t as hot.

There’s less noise now.

Birds though. There are birds.

When I heard a voice in person it sounded underwater.

My body forgot how to breathe on its own.

We all lost our breath for a minute.

I don’t know how a human body is supposed to work now.

It’s okay if you want to go.

I have extra blankets if you want to stay.


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