I am an expert misplacer of things. You might think you’re pretty good at it, but I’ve been doing it my entire life, beginning when I was young with simple items: a teddy bear, a toy boat, limited edition My Little Ponies.

But it’s not what you misplace that makes you an expert, but how and where you misplace them. For instance, I’ve misplaced necklaces on the bottom of ponds, and clocks in the tops of trees.  I’ve misplaced bricks through car windows, todays on the bottom of yesterday’s whiskey bottles. Most recently, I misplaced love at a bus stop so that she catch the bus 40 home alone to the person she refused to misplace.

If you were to ask me why I misplace so many things, I can tell you that it’s a family tradition. I come from a long line of misplacers beginning with my forefathers who misplaced their home countries to come to America and misplace native peoples. My little sister is just getting the hang of it. She is gradually misplacing her childhood while she misplaces her belief in fairy tales. My brother misplaced God when God misplaced his knees. My father misplaces his temper but only when he misplaces his sobriety which is the reason my mother misplaced all of her trust in him.

My grandfather is the best misplacer out of everyone I know. He’s misplaced wars, he’s misplaced fortunes. He is currently in the process of misplacing all of his memories. Sometimes it’s my name. Other times it’s where he is. I have seen him misplace entire decades as he waits alone in the living room for the arrival of his long deceased wife.

“Do you think she’ll be home soon?” he asks me

“No grandpa, she passed away 10 years ago.”

“Do you think she’ll be home soon?”

“No grandpa, she passed away 10 years ago.”

“Do you think she’ll be home soon?”

And each time I tell him the news (No, grandpa, she passed away 10 years ago) it’s as though the coffin lid closed yesterday, the breath is misplaced from his body like a halo misplacing its angel, wings and everything.

But, Grandpa, I have learned well that some things are best left misplaced.

“Do you think she’ll be home soon?”

“Yeah, she’ll home any minute now.”