How to Make A Lot of Money Without Drug Smuggling or Making Gloves Out of Kittens

In today’s fast world, it might not seem like there is anything you can do to make it to the Big Time without drug smuggling or making comfortable gloves out of kittens, like TV tells you to. You don’t have to discover new orifices and body cavities to store potentially lethal doses of narcotics as you try to pass customs on your way home from Estonia, or Lithuania. Sometimes you can do it with a suitcase with a false bottom. The same goes for kittens when you steal them from the pet shelter or snag them from an alleyway.

There’s always the stock market. You need to learn about stocks, though. Stocks and options and futures trading and risk and investment. This is more important than learning how to fill a knapsack with a dozen or so kittens and holding it underwater until the bubbles stop. But if that is the thrill you are seeking, try mortgage-backed securities.

This is the great country of America, not Lithiumania. We don’t need their drugs when we have our own drugs. So you don’t need to hollow out the tiny body. Instead, invest in real estate which is easy if you are able to live 750 years, the current amount of time it would take to pay off a mortgage. I prefer not to think about it.

Remember, the main core of the principle value is that you need to believe in yourself. Do not believe in cocaine 3 a.m. trying to figure out how to get more cocaine without turning a small body insideout to make suitable hand covers that keep the cold out. No. Just believe in yourself and you can believe anything, even in God and the free-market capitalism.  After all, Jesus died for free-market capitalism.